 |
| all i want is to look pretty and tiny in shorts skirts and dresses. a little secret as to why i relapsed so badly was the way my legs looked in one of my graduation photos. literally threw me off the edge |
- strawberry green tea boba (120kcal)
- frittata (223kcal)
- a bunch of shit from the store (max 1,800kcal)
net: ~1,500kcal
exercise: (-321kcal)
weight: 111.5lbs / 50.6kg
bmi: 17.5
≽^•༚• ྀི≼
another okay day... i ate like a pig but i also purged it and i was very active... i also bought a new scale! the old one might as well be a fucking artifact that thing is at least 100 years old like if you saw it you would know. and it was really janky and noisy which is why we'd keep it in the garage. i'd have to weigh myself 3 different times and keep adjusting it back to 0 to try and get an accurate weigh-in... i used my mom's trip as an excuse for why i bought a new one and told her it'd be much easier to weigh her luggage. she fell for it!!! >:D
i did weigh myself AFTER everything i ate today which tells me i may weigh less than what i thought? but it doesn't matter because i don't feel it... my legs are still big and my stomach isn't concave. fortunately i do see differences in my skin (don't get acne anymore.. even when i was on my period), i finally got rid of the extra arm fat, and my face fat has gone a bit as well. honestly i don't care for the numbers that much.. what's the use if i feel like i look the same. i feel big and disgusting whenever i look at myself in the mirror. i don't care if it takes me bmi 12 to start seeing a difference in my legs, if that's what it takes then so be it. luckily i have no more plans so i can finally get back to my starving.. actually i lied my friend is dragging me to the mall with her on monday but i'll force myself to restrict then. but that's also not for a few days. goodnight blog.