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| today's thinspo is taengoo because she cheers me up and i am on the verge of suicide |
- oatmeal (187kcal)
- gyros sandwich (459kcal)
- random snacks (9kcal)
- donuts -__- (1,042kcal)
net: 1,212kcal
exercise: 485
weight: 104.3lbs / 47.3kg
bmi: 16.4
≽^•༚• ྀི≼
i'm dropping so slowly but i can't even complain because i keep eating like a fucking fatass. today was so horrible i feel like ending my life. i can't be trusted to leave my house because wtf. i was doing well until i went out with my mom and told her i was craving donuts.. we went to this shop and she got a DOZEN. I was expecting to just get one and leave??? i ended up eating FOUR and as soon as she said we were getting them i knew i was gonna binge and already PLANNED TO PURGE BUT IM SO FUCKIGN STUPIDDDDDDD IT WOULDN;'T COME UP. i maybe got HALF a donut up. i felt so disgusting and shitty and i checked my watch to see my total burned today and it was 1,200... meaning i'd eaten 400 MORE THAN WHAT I BURNED TOTALLY... i genuinely started fucking panicking i went to our home gym and used the elliptical for like an hour... apparently i burned 485 calories but that is NOTHING compared to what i ate i literally WANT TO DIE. i'm never eating out again it's literally the source of all my problems.. i'm meal planning for tomorrow because God. this is awful. i'm skipping breakfast or only eating an egg then idk i'll figure it out. no more of this bs omfg. i'm also gonna fake sick and mope in my room all day because my stomach DOES hurt from purging then exercise purging immediately after... also my legs are sore as FUCK. it doesn't matter i'm forcing myself to go on a walk and then i'm gonna exercise in my room or something... bruh i have to get it together this is horrible i'm going to be fat on my birthday i have exactly 3 weeks to get to my goal weight and it's looking so bad :( i will do it. i can do it. please please please goodnight blog.